Uptown Girl

I can't believe it.  This is the final post to this livejournal.  My last day in New York has come and almost gone.  Special thanks goes out to Courtney and Matt for making it the best last night I could have asked for.  My, how times flies...

I am no longer an intern at 13th Street Rep.  This sounds incredibly lame, but as I left today, I almost cried.  Even though it sometimes (often) drove me crazy, leaving was really, really sad.  This was my first real grown up summer.  It felt awkward to hug Edith and Sandra for the last time.  What was even weirder is that, every summer, Sandra pays one lit intern for all their hard work.  This summer, it was me.  It wasn't a huge amount or anything, but it was something, and that really took me by surprise.  I don't know what it is about that place, but it just made me feel really...special.

As promised, I am posting my list of things I did this summer.  I'd be lying if I didn't say this was the best summer of my life.  Even though there are two weeks left, for me, it's basically over.  Where did it all go?

This summer...
-I finally got out of Pittsburgh
-I learned to ride the subway all by myself
-I discovered all the neighborhoods in Manhattan below Harlem
-I went to the beach!
-I spent way too much time in Times Square
-I loved Bridge and Tunnel enough to see it twice
-I saw The Color Purple and didn't hate it
-I went to Christopher Street
-I went to a real wedding!
-I went to the Natural History museum (so that I could feel like I'm five)
-I went to the Guggenheim (so that I could feel like Better Porter)
-I went to the MoMA (so that I could feel confused)
-I remembered why Leah Falk is my best friend
-I introduced someone to Grey's Anatomy
-I saw my first WNBA Game (and got Vicky Johnson's autograph!)
-I had my first on the street celebrity sightings
-I read way too many bad plays
-I read way too few good plays
-I read some very good books
-I bonded with my fellow interns
-I paid 11 dollars to see a movie
-I saw Avenue Q!
-I had my heart broken (but as they say in "Imagine You and Me"-It mends again)
-I went to a straight club
-I went to Central Park
-I gave out more directions than any non native should be allowed to
-I went the the Food Network Studios
-I went on the Today Show
-I met Nelly Furtado!
-I ate eel
-I saw some of the most remarkably attractive people I've ever seen and was too shy to talk to them
-I bought cheap things from Canal Street
-I saw the fireworks in Battery Park
-I had my first New York staged reading
-I got hit on WAY too often
-I got my hair done by Dominicans
-I had SO many adventures with Kim!
-I bonded with Courtney
-I learned just how much bullshit I could take
-I learned that sometimes you have to let people go
-I learned that it's okay to cry, and it's okay to admit to it
-I hailed a cab!  Twice!
-I got lost, tried to find my way, and then got MORE lost
-I had the best cupcakes on the planet
-I overdosed on cashews
-I drank so much Jamba Juice
-I worked hard, played hard, lived hard, and TURGED HARD
-I had a love affair with the city of New York
-I willingly ate vegan food
-I learned there is life outside your apartment
-I found out what's wrong with my computer!
-I grew up
-I stopped being afraid.

Goodbye.

My dear friend Courtney has pointed out that I shouldn't focus on the "should'ves" and should focus on the "dids".  What she didn't know is the entry of things I did is coming on Friday, after I'm officially done "doing' stuff.  Patience is a virtue.

Anyway, as I munch on my dinner of expired sliced turkey (two more days, folks), I have decided to make some top 5 lists for my summer and the city of New York.  Starting, of course, with...

TOP FIVE MOST AMUSING PICK UP LINES
5) "Ooh...DAMN!"-The guy who took a flier from me down at Bowling Green
4) "I'm only taking this because you're pretty!"-The guy who took a flier from me down at Bowling Green five minutes before the other guy
3) "Can I get your number so I can hit you up when I go on tour?"-Bones, the "up and coming" rapper outside of Virgin Megastore
2) "Are you engaged?"-Big Black guy at the Times Square Subway Station
1) "Usually playwrights aren't this pretty..."-Spatz, the creepy middle aged man at work who hits on anything with a vagina

TOP FIVE THINGS I SHOULDN'T HAVE SPENT MY MONEY ON BUT DID
5) People Magazine's "Celebrate the '90s" Edition
4) Belgian Waffle and Chocolate Milkshake at EVERY DINNER I WENT TO
3) Godiva Chocolate from Barnes and Noble
2) Umbrellas
1) Cashews at the "Nuts 4 Nuts" Counter.  They're great, but seriously, everyday?

TOP FIVE THINGS I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT MORE OF
5) Boylan Bottleworks Ginger Ale
4) MetroMint Pepperming Water
3) Tiramisu from everywhere in the city
2) Junior's Cheesecake
1) *TIE* Jamba Juice and Magnolia Cupcakes!

TOP FIVE BEST ADVENTURES IN NEW YORK
5) Trekking to Williamsburg (and Brooklyn) for the first time to see Leah
4) Coney Island
3) Staten Island Ferry Ride after the Fireworks
2) Getting lost throughout the entirty of Mid/Downtown everytime I got bored
1) Stalking Nelly Furtado Day!

TOP FIVE WORST ADVENTURES IN NEW YORK
5) Having to get home from Madison and 103rd after my boss left me stranded
4) Getting lost in East Flatbush
3) Queens.  The entire borough
2) Getting stuck in the rain with my boss before seeing a show and then her leaving me stranded
1) Getting to JFK

TOP FIVE FAVORITE HANGOUTS
5) 13th Street Rep (if the other interns are around)
4) Columbia's Barnes and Noble
3) Oscar Wilde Bookstore (even if I did almost get thrown out today)
2) Chinatown
1) The entirty of the Village

TOP FIVE FAVORITE PEOPLE I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW
5) The Pigeon Woman from yesterday (ask for the story)
4) The entire staff of Magnolia Bakery
3) The guy who always takes my pizza order at Che Bella
2) The hot person at Katie and Scott's wedding
1) The hostess at Angelica Kitchen

TOP FIVE GROUPS OF PEOPLE I DO KNOW (cuz I can't pick individuals!)
5) My suitemates!
4) The CMU Grad Crew!
3) The 13th Street Survivors!
2) The CMU "We Live in NYC" Crew
1) The CMU People who were here for the summer (namely Court and Karl...ok, I named names)

TOP FIVE EXPERIENCES I COULD ONLY GET IN NEW YORK
5) The subway.  It's its own experience
4) The readily available Jamba/Magnolia/Junior's combo
3) Cabs
2) The spectacular view out my window
1) *TIE* Stalking Nelly Furtado Day and WNBA ALL STAR Funness!

TOP FIVE REASONS NEW YORK IS BETTER THAN PITTSBURGH
5) At least subways are reliable SOMETIMES
4) There are more races than black and white
3) Free delivery on SUSHI!
2) Parks!
1) The readibly available Jamba/Magnolia/Junior's combo

TOP FIVE REASONS PITTSBURGH IS BETTER THAN NEW YORK
5) At least a late bus doesn't inconvenience an entire TRAIN full of people
4) Fewer guys hit on me in Pittsburgh
3) Less hot people is better for my self esteem
2) Pierogies!
1) I can afford Pittsburgh!

I spent WAY too much time at 13th Stree Rep this weekend.  Six hour shift on Friday, plus watching the show with Karl (followed by dinner and watching breakdancers in Union Square).  Saturday show.  Sunday kids shows plus the reading (more on that later).  SO MUCH TIME.  Plus, the intern party was last night.  I waited up for Karl and went over with him, which is good, because it was in the middle of Queens and we almost got lost.  The party was kind of fun-nobody really got all that drunk (not even Karl, which is rare and interesting).  We watched "But I'm a Cheerleader", which is a great movie.  I'm really gonna miss all the interns.  They're good people.  I must keep in touch with them on facebook and such.  Sigh...

Today's reading was particularly bad.  The play was poorly written.  It was repetitive.  It was boring.  It was horribly pro-Jesus while claiming to be putting Christianity, Islam, and Judaism on equal footing (you know I love Jesus, but fair is fair).  It left out important information and didn't imply the things it was supposed to imply.  It got things historically incorrect.  What made this even worse is that the writer refused to accept any criticism, no matter how constructive it was.  He kept defending his play or blaming the actors or saying "if I changed that, it would be a different play".  Guess what, genius?  Sometimes it has to be a different play to be a good play.  I learned that and I'm younger than this guy by like 40 years.  He was a total dickwad for the entire Q and A, and it really annoyed me.  What's the point of saying what I thought as an audience member and educated, informed theatergoer if you're going to tell me I'm wrong?  If I'm not getting your message, you didn't say it right (I had to learn that in workshop the hard way).  Oy!

So, oddly enough, Devon asked me about my Avenue Q adventure today (a LONG time after it happened, but I'm amazed she remembered).  I told her the incredibly streamlined version of the story and then showed her a picture of Karl (cuz she asked).  The whole thing was rather funny.  I didn't exactly know what to say.  I like Devon; she takes an interest in things (when she came into my room, she immediately started looking at my pictures and trying on my slippers, which I found entertaining and endearing.  I like comfortable people).  Too bad we're only suitemates for one more week.  Devon, Nicole, and Shivonne are all really sweet girls; I'm glad to have lived with them this summer.

So, seeing that I have less than a week left in the Big Apple, I have decided to make a list of things I should have done this summer.  Most of them will be directed at "you"; it's up to you to figure out what individual I mean (and some of them may be directed at you!).  Here goes nothing...
-I should've let you introduce me to her
-I should've told you to shut the fuck up
-I should've mentioned I almost fell in love with you
-I should've told you I think I did fall in love with you once
-I should've never agreed to do that damn shift
-I should've hung out with you more
-I should've said hi and given you my number
-I should've told you I wanted you from the moment I set eyes on you
-I should've gone to more museums
-I should've spent less money
-I should've drank more Jamba Juice
-I should've showed you more of NYC
-I should've stood up to you long before this summer
-I should've relaxed
-I should've told you how much I miss you
-I should've told you how glad I am that you're back
-I should've eaten more Magnolia Cupcakes
-I should've exercised more
-I should've stayed in NYC for 10 more weeks!

So, funny story.  Well, interesting story.  Karl and I went out to eat at Whole Foods after his show (which was really good, but I'll talk about that in a moment).  We're upstairs, talking, eating, and generally having a good time when his facial expression changes to one of surprise.  I turn around to see what's behind me, and it's Rachel Gross!  Apparently she's got a kick-ass internship at Island/Def Jam and she works at Whole Foods to pay the rent!  It was quite the pleasant surprise.  Now, I know New York is this gigantic city, but so far, I've accidentally run into Courtney in Times Square, Rachel in Whole Foods, and Alia (right after I left Karl) at the subway station on 42nd.  Darren once told me this was a very New York thing to happen.  I suppose it may be, but I still think it's the coolest thing ever.

So, I saw A Yellow Butterfly Called Sphinx (aka the intern play).  Bravo to Amanda for doing a great job directing!  She had some interesting concepts to her staging, and the thing with the letters falling at the end was brilliant (assuming that it was Amanda's idea-it may have been Caitlin's, I'm not sure).  She found a way to make a play that's basically people reading letters interesting.  Also, big ups to Caitlin for holding it down tech wise; girl doesn't even like designing lights and she did some cool stuff with out modest little set of them.  The actors did really well, too (minus Karl's slip up during his Principal letter, but at least he messed up in character).  I had seen them in rehearsal, and they knew the lines, but this time they had added so much character to themselves; I actually felt really bad for the teacher (played by Helena) and Carole (played by Anna) in the end.  Wow, I just realized how much I'm gonna miss working with these people when I leave next week.  All these kids have been really awesome, and they've MADE this internship for me, so it'll be sad returning to the world of CMU Drama where people more or less ignore me (at least I have SnS, but even that's not the same-SnS has WAY more money and opportunities than 13th Street, so it feels a bit less...hardcore?).  I'm glad this was a good experience.

On a related note, I LEAVE NEXT WEEK!

I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking, but I went out to a club with Kim yesterday.  It's called Webster Hall, and it's got a pretty neat set up.  There are four rooms (I think four) that each play a different type of music: rap/reggae, pop, latin, and straight reggae.  This is the first time I've been to a straight club (instead of Pegasus), and I now know why.  Our first room was the rap room, which was hot and crowded and full of people who kept shouting about "Brooklyn!".  All the men there were really old (like, 30 or older) and creepy.  There were...maybe two cute little white boys, but one wouldn't come near me and the other danced with Kim.  There were no attractive men of any other race (I should also mention said white boys were born in the same decade as I was), which was sad.  Let's talk about the guys who danced with me, shall we?  Guy number one kept trying to grab my ass (I bent my knees to make it harder for him) and kept feeling up on my hair.  He kept trying to make me look at him so he could kiss me, but I dodged that.  Then, his friend came up, and they traded (what, is this like the draft?  What the hell?).  Guy number two kep trying to feel up the two places I DID NOT want anyone to feel up, so I grabbed his hands and relocated them to a PG part of my body before eventually escaping.  Guy number three was smart enough not to move his hands off my hips, but he stuck his face directly into my hair (what is it with my hair???) and tried to actually simulate sex (he wasn't even on beat anymore!), so I got Kim and Kirsten to rescue.  Guy number four was...cool.  Not at all attractive, but he had the good sense not to touch me while we danced and said "thank you" afterwards (not that I expected that-he was just polite).  WEIRDOS!

By then, I was about ready to go, but then we checked out the Pop room, which had MUCH better music (including "Promiscuous"-holla!) and music videos.  That room was a lot of fun, and I would've volunteered to stay longer if I didn't have to go to work today.  So, we left at like, 2 AM.  I don't know how I'm awake right now.

Today, I do my marathon shift at work and then maybe stay to see the A night of the short play festival (depending on whether or not Karl's coming tonight or Sunday night; I told him I'd see it with him).  And now I am hungry and need to work out.
-Ashe

The contrast of this entry's title and last entry's title entertains me.  Mostly because home means something different in each entry.  ANYWAY...

I'm back in NYC.  It's kinda weird because there wasn't really a moment of struggle or anything.  I just went through the usual motions of catching the subway and unlocking my door and so on as if I had never left.  Going to and leaving New York is pretty seamless for me.  Guess that means it's a good match?

I saw a picture of myself from Katie and Scott's wedding, and while I looked ok, I am more convinced than ever that I need to lose weight.  Seriously, I don't want to be the "interesting" looking girl, the "shapely, curvy" girl, or, for my stick thin friends, the "chubby" girl.  I want to be hot.  Like, Eva Longoria hot.  Well, not like her cuz I'm not naturally as hot as her, but you get the point.  Anyway, this means exercise, everyday.  I need to be smokin, as shallow and vain as that sounds.  I guess if I were to put it in a less shallow way, I think my personality's ok, so if I lost weight, I'd have more body confidence, which would make my personality shine!  Ah, who am I kidding?  I'm trying to compete with the pretty thin people I hang out with.

I've just about had it with my dad.  Ever since college started, our relationship has deteriorated, but now he's just this guy who I can't stand or even respect.  I wonder if he's always been like this and I'm just now noticing, or if this is a new thing.  Either way, I'm done.  I've had enough of his bullshit and I'm tired of being a better husband to my mother than he is (funny, I figured "husband" involved, at the least, the posession of a penis...guess not).  Anyway, to quote the Breakfast Club "My home life is unsatisfying" (all my real 80s movie dorks out there should reply with "Everyone's home life is unsatisfying".  I really hope I'm the only one who knew that was the right line to say next).  He makes it really hard to appreciate the house I grew up in and the neighborhood I love so much.   I know I sound whiney, but that's because I have enough sense not to say what he did in a public forum.  That's more self respect than respect for him.

Back to the routine tomorrow!
-Ashe

Ok, dear readers and blog stalkers...before I begin the actual entry, I'm going to tell you a story (I told some of you last night, but not nearly enough people, so here we go).  If you don't get it, don't worry-it's an S'n'S thing.

Last Friday, I was at work doing my 6 hour shift.  One of the rehearsals had just let out (naturally, it was Amanda's, because Amanda directs everything), and a bunch of us hung out, including this one actor.  I mention I'm from Pittsburgh and the actor says that he is, too.  We start talking about Pittsburgh theater and stuff, and then he asks me what schoo I go to.  Here's how the dialogue went:

Ashe-I go to Carnegie Mellon.
Him-Oh!  My brother used to go there!
Ashe-Really?  Who's your brother?
Him-Jason Young.
...brief pause...
Ashe-Is he Jase Young?
Him-Yeah!

You heard it here, folks.  Crazy ass Jase Young has a little brother who acts at my NY theater.  Only in New York...

But of course, this entry has nothing to do with New York because I'm not there.

Coming home reminds me exactly how grateful I should be that I am not my parent.  My Dad has managed to fuck up again.  I can't exactly say HOW on lj, but he has and now my mother is pissed at him (so am I-ask me about it and I may feel comfortable telling you).  We also now have two cars.  Long story.  Somehow, these two crazy people who live in my house managed to raise a kid who is NOT LIKE THEM, which makes me very happy.  I have a lot in common with my parents, but I have more sense than them.  I should pray more.

Yesterday I went to Katie and Scott's wedding.  They are now Mr. and Mrs. Dai.  That's so weird.  I'm very happy for them and wish nothing but the best for them because they're amazing people who are made for each other, but they're married, and knowing married people is weird.  The ceremony was very sweet and the reception was some of the most fun I've had in a long time.  Plus, there was one of the hottest people I've ever seen there, which made it all the more sweet for me (and NO, I won't tell you who.  Figure it out your damn self if you were there).  Seeing everybody was also great; I wish I could take all that and bring it to New York with me...then life would be sweet!

Clara is currently living in my room.  In my bed.  Well, at the moment, it's her bed.  I sleep on the couch (cuz there's no air conditioning in the room and it's cooler downstairs).  It's awesome that she's here because it's great to hang out with her (and to have one rational person in this house), but at the same time it feels as if I'm a visitor in my own home.  Besides, Clara makes less noise and is neater and cleaner than I am.  My mother reminds me of this a lot.  Yet, she doesn't understand why I think she likes every one of my female friends more than she likes me.  Hmm...

Ok, time to harrass Kelsey because I want to eat!
-Ashe

Ah, joy joy joy.  Why is my life so fucking awesome?  Well, let us see.  There was this weekend, with the $26.25 tickets to see Bridge and Tunnel with my mom, my godmom, Kim, and her mom.  Then there were the front row passes (for the same price as B&T) for The Color Purple (which didn't suck...who knew?).  A Chinatown/West Village adventure, a kickass hotel room, and Magnolia.  On Monday, I worked at Bowling Green, which I have now decided is the worst corner to work.  Lots of tourists and unattractive people (although this one group of extremely attractive latinos did walk by...mmm).  Oh, and it's harder to pass out fliers there (last time I ran through three packs like water in a stream).  Guess which corner I work for the rest of the summer?  Woo...

Oh, I forgot I had rehearsal on Sunday for A Yellow Butterfly Called Sphinx, the intern project (if you're in the NYC area, come see it this Monday or Wednesday).  I'm the turg for the show (and I've been trying really hard to cool down my usual turg pride, cuz that's only funny other turgs.  Well, no, it's only funny to Lavina).  Saw Karl, who I haven't seen in over a week.  We got food afterwards, which was fun.  I like hanging out with him, he's a great guy.

Tuesday was BEACH DAY!  Kim and I went to the cleanest NYC beach I've ever heard of.  It was over 90 degrees and we chilled in the sand and played in the water and took pictures (well, Kim took pictures) and generally had a blast.  We both got nice and tan.  Hanging out with Kim makes me realize just how much I missed her while she was gone.  We're back up to the stuff we used to do together, and not only is it fun, it's cool to know that there's someone who really wants to hang out with me (like, to the point where she calls and says "we need to do something").  I have a lot of people like that; God has truly blessed me.

Yesterday was fun at the Bronx Zoo.  The ticket person referred (who was HOT) referred to me as "mami", which was hilarious, corny, and cool at the same time.  The Zoo was NUTS cuz Wednesdays are free.  Didn't stop me from spending $15 on rides and such (it was worth it-the skyfari is fun and the butterfly garden is GREAT).  I really want to go back and take Kim or Shivonne and Andrew or somebody with me.  That'd be fantastic!

Let's see...non-activity stuff...I'm happier than I've been in a really long time.  I've been reading lots of good books.  Kwasi, who had a bike accident, is ok, which makes me very happy.  Steven's got a new girlfriend of sorts, so I get to pretend like I'm not jealous (it's weird...part of me doesn't want him anymore, part of me won't let him go...I need a new guy to distract me...a nice, new, extremely hot brunette guy...).  I'm leaving my dorm to run errands and then heading to da Burgh for Katie and Scott's wedding in...three minutes.  

Oh!  And I bought a cheap watch on Canal.  My first Canal purchase!  I'm growing up!

Ok, so I told you before about the "I've always wanted to go to a WNBA game and I finally did" thing.  Well, today took that dream and blew it up to the size of Alaska!  I bought a ticket to the WNBA All-Star Game and spent the entire day down by the Garden.  They had this thing called Summer Jam where you could do fun activities and get autographs and free stuff (which I did...both autographs and free stuff).  I was having so much fun that I automatically thought of my old friend Courtney Spradley, the only person I know who loves the WNBA more than me.  I called Lynnette to get her number, and then called her.  I got her some gifts (I was going to get her an autograph, but Summer Jam more or less got rained out a half hour after I talked to her) and I'll give them to her next week.  Man, so much fun.

Oh, and the GAME!  DUDE!  First time EVER that the East won an All Star game!  It was such a great game!  The pacing was really good, and there was a while where it was anyone's game...until the East soared ahead by twenty.  By the end, it was just fun.  A timeout got called and the Lil' Torches (that's a WHOLE other story) did the Cha Cha Slide...and the players JOINED them!  Then, Taurasi went for a dunk, but missed, so Snow got the ball and went for a dunk, but missed, then tried again and made it (everyone stood there and let her go for it-the game was basically over, so it didn't matter) and then Nolan went for a dunk and missed.  And Rebecca Lobo and Teresa Weatherspoon (for those of you who don't know, both played for the NY Liberty, Lobo is my favorite player EVER, and T-Spoon made the most famous WNBA play ever when she THREW the ball across the court and scored a 3 pointer to win Game 2 of the 1999 Finals, forcing a Game 3).  WOOOOOOOO!

Oh, and can say again that Taurasi went for a fucking dunk?  And Snow made a fucking dunk?  A dunk in the WNBA!  Who are they, Leslie?

I wish I played basketball.  When I get home, I'll start practicing my shot again.
-Ashe

Oh, what an amazing past several days!  So amazing, in fact, that I haven't had much time to write about them.  I had my first shift on my new job.  That was pretty great.  I stood outside for 3 hours shouting "Would you like more information on Lower Manhattan?".  It sounds lame, but it was pretty sweet.  Most people were friendly.  A lot of them took my flier.  One asked how to get my job.  Another woman offered me a job.  Three guys hit on me.  Afterwards, I was pretty hungry, so I went to Chinatown for dinner.  Yum. 

Next day, Leah and Vijay and I went out to see The Devil Wears Prada (Kwasi was supposed to come, too, but he bailed-seriously, he comes to town for a weekend but won't come down from the Bronx to hang out-lame).  The movie was hilarious and has some great lines (especially the one about dieting).  It's not the best thing ever, but it's a pretty cool movie.

Saturday, Shivonne, Andrew, Leah, and I all met up w/Clara and Helena (who I work with) to get tickets for Shakespeare in the Park, but they sold out, so we went to Magnolia bakery instead.  While there, not only did we get amazing cupcakes, but we also saw John Stewart and his family.  Yeah, I'm talking Daily Show John Stewart, down in the village, getting cupcakes.  Don't you wish that your life was hot like mine?  We didn't say anything to him or bother him (it's family time, not celebrity time), but it was cool nonetheless.  Then, Shivonne and Andrew and I went to Chinatown to get food and also do some cheap ass shopping.

Sunday, Shivonne, Andrew, and Leah went back to the line for Shakespeare in the Park, this time getting tickets.  I went to church (finally) and had lunch with Vij, Josh, and Brenda in Little Italy, which was NUTS (since it was, yknow, the fucking WORLD CUP).  Food there was really tasty, especially considering how much it cost.  Afterwards, they went to the park and I went to see Becky Hammon and the NY Liberty (my favorite team) play Diana Taurasi (my favorite player) and the Phoenix Mercury.  Liberty lost in OT, but I blame that on Becky Hammon spraining her ankle and thus not being on the court during those crucial OT minutes to rain 3 point shots on Phoenix.  Still, it was an amazing game to watch (Taurasi is RIDICULOUS, guys.  You don't even KNOW).  I got a ticket for the all-star game tomorrow.  Man, two WNBA games in a week after waiting 10 years to see one...I'll say it again, don't you wish that your life was hot like mine?

Yesterday involved eating pierogies (yay!), having dinner w/Shivonne (yay!), and reading really horrible scripts.  The only good part of any of this is that today I finally read a good script.  Week seven, ladies and gents.  Somebody give me a cookie.  Or a hot brunette.  I'm not picky.

This holiday weekend, I exercised my right to not do work, which is biting me in the ass as we speak.  I've read two scripts today and will read another before bed, but while I'm busy not doing work, I figured I'd give a rundown of how this weekend went.

On Friday, I went to work where (for once) I was NOT bored for 6 straight hours.  Some of the other people were there, including Karen who is hilarious and George who's a pretty cool guy.  He told me about all sorts of asshole actors he knows and some pretty cool people who happened to be the star, the director, and the writer of Capote.  Note-if anyone's seen the Will and Grace eps where they make over Karen's cousin Barry, the dude who plays him wrote Capote.  Then, I went to dinner at the vegan place with Leah, who liked it very much (it's like, Veggie Haven.  If I ever date a Veggie, I will take him here).  

Saturday was...well, interesting.  Leah and I took a trip out to Christopher Street to walk over to Bleeker and check out Magnolia Bakery, but it was closed, so we went to the Oscar Wilde Bookstore instead.  Then, I got a call from Karl, so we tried to get Avenue Q lottery tickets (we failed.  We ended up buying tickets for the next day and going out to dinner/apple store instead.  Sunday was Avenue Q w/Karl (which was AMAZING).  Karl wasn't going to stay for the whole time because he had the chance to be an extra in a movie (this kid finds opportunities for himself like nobody's business), but the show was so good that he couldn't leave.  I haven't talk to him since then; I hope he made it in time.

Monday involved...shoot, I don't remember what I did on Monday.  Like, AT ALL.  I know yesterday I went to a cookout and saw the fireworks with Leah, Shivonne, Andrew (Shivonne's friend), and Kim, and then we rode the ferry, but what the hell did I do Monday?  Wow, completely lost a day-good job, kid.

I must say that Leah watched Grey's Anatomy with me and enjoyed it.  So, to all the haters out there, boo-yah!

So, thanks to the lovely Vijay Jesrani, I now have a job with these folks.  You don't understand how cool this website is; it makes me want to go down to lower Manhattan ALL THE TIME now.  Plus, they gave me this bag to carry my supplies in, and it's fanTAStic!  I really want to ask if I get to keep it when I'm done with my job because I want to use it as a backpack.  It's so nice!  And the woman who interviewed me, Jessica, was very sweet as well.  She had cool hair.  I mean, the hair itself wasn't doing anything special, it was just a cool color.  Not like unnatural (it was brown), but it was a good shade on her or something.  Gah, I suck with words.  Good thing I want to be a writer.

I am now a foot soldier for Lower Manhattan.info (why do most of my jobs have fancy bullshit names?).  What this means is, on certain days, I don a special shirt and khakis, lug my bag to certain places, and hand out fliers for the website.  That's it.  I get paid 10 bucks an hour to do this for three hours at a time.  I should be baking a huge cake with a hot stripper in it for Vij right now.  Now I can feel less like a bum while I'm here (since my internship pays me a grand total of nothing).

Leah's staying with me starting Friday.  This is very exciting because A) I get to live with my best friend, and B) she's excited about it.  I always post about how fearful I am that my best friends don't actually want to be friends anymore or are growing apart from me, but I rarely get to mention how great it is when I connect with them.  You have no idea how happy I am.  Same thing with Paula; I talk to her all the time even though we're in different cities, and it's amazing considering we've been friends since elementary school.  Who cares if I don't have many (any) new friends here or any dates (well...)?  I've got the best friends in the world!

This weekend I'm supposed to see Avenue Q with Karl (after not seeing it last Thursday because he had class [but we got ice cream anyway] and not seeing it last night because Amanda didn't tell him until the last minute that he had rehearsal).  I am very excited about this because Avenue Q is supposed to be amazing and it'll be even better seeing it with someone who appreciates theatre.  Plus, Karl's just an awesome guy.  Very sweet (which is funny, cuz he has the body that could kick the crap out of someone, even though he never would).  Hooray!

I should also add that Courtney Kochuba is an amazing woman.  She knows why.
-Ashe

Ok, so my computer broke for 36 hours, so I didn't get a chance to update with all the lovely things that have happened this weekend. So, NOW I will!

Patricia had her graduation party on Saturday. It was AMAZING! Her family is very entertaining and the food was GREAT! It was in Jersey (ysee, I went to JERSEY for you, P!), and Vijay and Alia and folks were there. Besides the tasty food, Vijay and Co. brought inappropriate grad gifts for P (including the Guide to Getting It On...eww). Fun times all around.

Sunday was the Pride parade. It was PACKED! I thought I looked pretty snazzy with my flag in my hair, rainbow belt, and flag in my pants pocket, but some people were SERIOUS. This one really hot kid (I say kid because I'll bet money this chick wasn't a day over 16) had a shirt that said "Don't be a pussy, eat one!". I stood next to this amazing group of lesbians who catcalled everytime someone walked by in heels. The parade itself was even more nuts-they threw out Mardi Gras beads and bracelets and women marched around topless showing us their boobs and there were leather daddies and dykes on bikes and drag queens and hot shirtless men and hot shirtless women and bangin music and WAH! I am SO doing this next year (see me if you wanna check out pics!)!

Monday was dinner with Clara and Alia (I know this is no longer weekend...deal with it) at this nice place on the actual upper west side. Food was nice and expensive and very tasty, and hanging out with my girls was great. I'm gonna miss Clara since she's living at my house for a month, but I'll see her when I go to the wedding and I'll see her all the time during the schoolyear. Woo.

Okay, so let's talk about my computer shutting off and then not working. With all my work files on it. And me borrowing Court's computer (thanks, Court!) to redo my work. I had to delete all the stuff off of my computer to make it work again. It's literally the low point of me being here (well, besides the not having friends and not being able to get a date thing, but you know...). But, it's fixed (hooray!), so yay.
-Ashe

According to her song titles, Nelly Furtado is a lot of things. She's promiscuous. She's like a bird. She's powerless. She also does a lot of things. She turns out the light. She tries. She explodes. It's all pretty entertaining.

According to me, Nelly Furtado is a lot of things. She's smiley. She's patient. She's sweet. She also does a lot of things. She gives a great concert. She shakes your hand when she gives you an autograph. She lets you take lots of pictures.

Yes, that's right, folks! Yours truly has MET Nelly Furtado! Here are the details of my stalking day:

-Wake up at 4 AM (yeah, AM) to shower and get dressed.
-Catch train at 440 AM to get down to Rockefeller
-Miss stop, catch two trains to fix mistake, including A Train (take the A train!)
-Get to Rockefeller Center at 530 AM, wait til 630 AM to be let in
-Watch sound checks/Today show broadcast and SEE HER PERFORM up close!
-Go to dorm, watch Nelly on TRL w/Shivonne
-Leave w/Shivonne to go to Virgin Megastore Times Square and get her autograph
-Stand in line for 2.5 hours and successfully GET NELLY'S AUTOGRAPH!

Sound obsessive? Sound awesome? It was. She's as pretty in real life as in her video, her disposition was very sunny, and she seemed geniunely happy to be making so many fans happy. I hope it wasn't all an act; after hours of performing and signing autographs, I don't think one can fake being that nice anymore, but still I hope it was real, cuz she was awesome. Now, all I need is to see her in a real concert (and to, yknow, meet her again when I'm not totally starstruck and can't say anything of any significance). Woo!

In the words of Dr. Cristina Yang: You wanna be me but you can't be me!

Ok, so I went to Flatbush with Kim today to try and find a hairdresser. What we found was a Dominican salon that did my hair for $17 (and that was after I got the $5 deep conditioner). Seriously, how amazing is that? AND, my hair looks good, which is the most important part. This is quite possibly the most exciting part of my visit. Well, not really, but it's up on the top ten.

Speaking of top ten, did I mention Nelly Furtado is performing on the Today Show tomorrow. Guess who'll be there? And guess who has a pass to get her autograph tomorrow? If your answer was "Ashley Amber Birt", then you were correct and you're prize will be in the mail in five to eight business days. Shivonne is coming with me to the Virgin Megastore autograph session, which is awesome cuz I have someone to keep me company AND share my love of Nelly Furtado with. Score!

Y'know that whole summer camp mentality where you're supposed to make lots of friends and have a great time while you're away? Yeah, not really happening. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm having a blast, but I don't really have any new friends. I'm cool with the people I work with, but we don't exactly hang out. And it's not like I do a lot of social things with the people in my building; they're all in the same program, so they're friends with each other, but not me. I have Leah and Vijay and Kim and Clara and Court, but Kim and Clara don't live in Manhattan, Court and Leah leave in July, and Vijay works. Oh, Karl's here, too, and I'm trying to hang out with him more. Alia and Sarah Pennie are here, but they work all the time, too. Long story short, I need friends.

I also need to meet more people. I'm supposed to try the whole "dating" thing here, but so far, I've got nothing. I'm not good at this at all; I need as much help as I can get. If you're in the New York area and you have some free time, want to go out for dinner? I could use the experience.
-Ashe

Before I commence this update, I have a joke for you. How many college students does it take to get rid of a spider? The answer is two-one to catch it, and one to stand back and scream. Yeah, not funny, but that's what happened this morning. Shivonne knocked on my door specifically to ask if I was "afraid of spiders". After answering with a definite yes, she told me there was one in her room and she couldn't kill it because she was afraid. After lots of screaming from us both, I came up with the brilliant idea of tossing her a cup and a newspaper; she caught the thing and let it go outside. It was awfully human, especially considering I hate those fucking things. Oh, roommate bonding experiences...

While switching trains yesterday, the following interaction took place. Please note that my mentioning the size, and race of the individual has nothing to do with me caring and everything to do with my amazement that he wasn't a middle aged Hispanic man, which are the only type of men who have been hitting on me since I got to New York:

Big Black Man (attempting to set watch)-Excuse me? Do you have the time?
Me (with an IPod on)-What?
Big Black Man (pointing at watch)-The time?
Me-Oh, right. (gives him the time. Continues walking)
Big Black Man (catching up)-Excuse me! Are you engaged?
Me-What?
Big Black Man-Are you engaged?
Me (removing headphones)-What?
Big Black Man-Are you engaged?
Me-WHAT?
Big Black Man-Are you engaged? Do you have a ring?
Me (pausing. business-like)-Oh. no. (keeps walking)

Reason #9332114 I love New York-It's not "are you single?", it's "are you engaged?".

I saw Kim yesterday. She and Leah came to my reading, which...went ok, I guess. Not as well as I'd hoped. Leah kept calling me on my facial expressions and things like that, because she's Leah and knows me entirely too well (ten years'll do that to you). Kim liked the play, which means a lot considering Kim actually knows things about things (Leah did, too). It's so exciting to see her! I really miss people when they go abroad because they're my friends and not spending time with them or talking to them makes me sad (although, in certain cases, such as that of a particular foreigner who has been over in England canoodling, I feel like my sadness is a waste on someone who doesn't actually give a rat's ass). Seeing Leah and Kim, though, have defintely been highlights of my summer. Clara called this morning, too! We're supposed to do something soon. Oh, and I know he wasn't abroad or anything, but I saw Karl Kempe yesterday. He remains charming as usual.

I have created a new, yet simple mantra-I fucking hate couples. Whenever I see people walking down the street and I can't figure out why I'm getting upset, whenever I feel particularly lonley and don't know why, whenever I hate someone's boyfriend for no particular reason (which happens most of the time; I hate your boyfriend until he's earned me liking him. Sorry, that's just how it works), I can use my mantra to remind myself why I'm so bitter. In New York, this especially applies, because couples are everywhere (although I will admit that seeing the same sex couples, which the count is up to 7, makes me very happy). This will be the key to surviving the next 6 weeks (unless one of you happens to know anyone single-if that's the case, please send my way! 20 years is a long time to be alone).
-Ashe

Dude! Where to begin? Shayna was here all weekend, which was super fun. I felt kind of bad sometimes because I'm kind of a lame, so I felt like I wasn't showing her the New York she wanted to see, but she seemed to have a good time, so woo! It's nice to have company like that, y'know? I mean, it's not like I've gotten horribly homesick or anything, but there are just some things about da Burgh that I miss, and she's defintely one of them.

Speaking of da Burgh, what the fuck is wrong with our QB? I mean, first, allow me to say that I love the Steelers as much as every other black and gold-blooded Pittsburgher, and my first reaction upon hearing the news that Big Ben had been in an accident was sheer horror (ask the folks who work with me-we saw it on the news, and I had to explain my reaction to them). Still, dude doesn't wear a helmet. He wears a helmet when big ass guys come charging at him on a field, but not when big ass cars do. He's so fucking lucky, it's almost ridiculous. If he still refuses to wear a helmet after this, I will personally fly down to Pittburgh and smack him. Yeah, you can take the girl out of Pittsburgh, but you can't take the Pittsburgh out of the girl!

I ventured into Brooklyn for the first time this weekend. Leah and I got normal priced (as in great priced for NY, normal for every other city on Earth) Thai food and then saw this Afro-Caribbean band play at this bar whose name I cannot remember. I do remember that they didn't card, which worked out well for Leah, but had no effect on me. The band was super hot and there were lots of drunk people couples dancing, which was amazing and gross at the same time. Also, I caught the subway back at 2 AM and learned that I won't die if I catch the subway back at 2 AM. I don't plan on making a habit of it. Blah.

Last night, Vijay and I went to see Bridge and Tunnel, a one woman show by Sarah Jones, street poet extraordinaire. If you're in the New York area and have a student ID, get rush tickets to this. If you're in the New York area and don't have a student ID, get regular tickets. GO SEE THIS SHOW. Sarah Jones is A) absolutely amazingly talented, B) absolutely gorgeous, and C) absolutely delightful. Her ability to transform herself into all these different characters of different ages and backgrounds is amazing; seriously, she had us convinced that she was an old Chinese lady, and she's ANYTHING BUT. It's the right amount of funny and the right amount of moving and the right amount of making fun of the government. Seriously, SEE THIS SHOW. I WILL GO WITH YOU.

Speaking of shows, my mother has told me to go see a cheap tickets show on her. Have I mentioned lately how much I love her?
-Ashe

So, thanks to the ton of rain and my infamous horrible sense of direction, I missed seeing Stars in the Alley today (Stars in the Alley is a free outdoor concert where the Broadway stars come and sing before the Tonys). I suppose it's all for the best, because now I'll actually get work done, but I really wanted to see it. Ah well, there'll be other free things later.

So on Monday, I spent the afternoon with my best friend Leah (not to be confused with my best friend Sarah or my best friend Boriana), whom I've not seen in five months (she was abroad). She's doing very well and is happy to be home (relatively speaking, of course). I couldn't be happier to finally see my friend. My friends mean so much to me, and when I don't get to see them, I feel very sad. I've complained about it before, so I won't go into details now. I will say that I am SO THRILLED that Leah is back!

As if my day could have gotten any better, I received a phone call from Darren, telling me he would be in the city in 20 minutes and asking if I wanted to catch up. OF COURSE I WANTED TO CATCH UP, IT WAS DARREN! That was absolutely spectacular! We had dinner and talked about his new play and about NYC and crazy SnS drama and such. Hanging out with Darren now feels like making up for freshman year when I didn't talk to him that much because we didn't do the same things (he acted in things, I did tech). I guess Scotch on the Rocks sealed our fate. I occasionally hung out with him whenever Courtney and Kami did, but I was always quiet in those situation cuz we weren't as close. In SotR, though, I gained so much respect for him as a writer (and he for me), and then I found out how our academic situations were similar, and I dunno, it was a done deal. Then, of course, we became family with Black Idiot Box (still the best show I've ever worked on, although Laramie is a VERY close second). Oh, Darren!

So apparently I'm doing well at work. I realized the other day that this sounds like bragging, but seriously, when they throw out words like "knowledgeable" and "mature", I don't have a damn clue what they're talking about. Chesna said that, because I'm good at things, it might not seem like a big deal to me. Maybe that's it. Cuz seriously, I have no idea why they like me so much-I'm just doing what the good ol' folks at CMU and Schenley taught me how to do. I still say it's weird.

So, it's raining. Again. Didn't I leave Pittsburgh? Isn't NYC weather supposed to make MORE sense than PGH weather? Why is it sunny and warm down there and crappy up here? I don't get it.

Lunch w/the Vijay tomorrow. Shayna coming this weekend. How fabulous is that?
-Ashe

Oh, Columbia Housing. How I do hate you. I went to a nice Pentecost service at Broadway Presbyterian (which, while it's no ELPC, is very charming and does well to remind me of home), only to come back to find out that I've been taken out of the system and my ID card doesn't work. In order to get it reactivated, I must go to Hartley Hall. Except the Hospitality Desk says that, if I'm not in the system, then I must get put back in the system. At Kent Hall. Which is closed. Grumble. So I go back to my building, explain the situation, they let me in. I leave for work. Coming back from work, I see that the 1 train isn't stopping at 116. Nope, it goes straight from 96 to 145. And the uptown 1 is running on the downtown track. Get off at 145, catch the 1 downtown to 116. Explain my ID situation to the different security guard, who knows me and is much nicer. Get to elevator. It's broken, so I walk 14 flights of stairs. In heeled boots. Get up today, go to Kent Hall. My card is fine, go to different room in Hartley Hall. Guy who can fix it is out. Leave. Come back three hours later. Go to ANOTHER different room in Hartley Hall. Get ID fixed. Get Intern sticker.

WAS ALL THIS REALLY NECESSARY???

In other news, I just sent "Sweet Adeline" to a directing intern at my theater. Hopefully she will not hate it. It would mean a lot to me if she didn't hate it. So far, my job has been going well. Actually, a lot of things have been going well. My suitemates are still awesome. My job is sweet. I've seen a lot of people. My only worry is that I will run out of money. Hopefully that will not happen. Everything here is so damn expensive! Maybe I'm just lucky. Maybe I deserve this. What do you think?
-Ashe

Just when I complained about writing everyday...I skip a day! Haha.

Okay, so I woke up and got dressed and caught the subway yesterday only to have my train delayed. Water on the tracks. Seriously, I was about to call New York out as being a punk city. A little rain and your subway goes down? In Pittsburgh, we can make it through ANYTHING. I then found out it there was flash flooding occuring, and then I shut up. Still, though, Pittsburgh could handle it. Props to Steeltown, what!

Lame, party of one?

Anyway, I went to see a play reading with my boss. It was only the two of us, so it ended up being a nice way to bond and impress her (well, I mean, that didn't occur to me until after it happened, but still). She's pretty cool. She really cares about global warming and likes animals. Her mom and dog died on the same day (that SUCKS!). She says I'm mature and that I know a lot about writing. She said she's never had an intern tell her "you want to end the first act of a play in a way that makes the audience member want to come back for the second." I figured that was something everybody knew, but apparently not. So my boss is impressed by me, which is pretty sweet considering I wasn't really doing anything except being myself. Lucky me, I guess.
-Ashe

Ok, the fact that I can post to this thing everyday is a sign that I don't have enough to do. Seriously, though, I do lots of stuff, and I STILL have free time. And it's not like I'm slacking at my job. I'm reading my plays and sending in my evals (evals...what a word). I've done something social with people each day this week (Vijay says I have to stop saying I don't have any friends cuz he's here and he's my friend. Aaron says my suitemates are my friends. I guess they're both right). WHERE is this time coming from? I don't even begin to understand.

Oh, that reminds me, SHIVONNE is the correct spelling. Thanks, facebook.

Ok, so I had dinner w/Josh and Vijay today. I met them in Times Square. Here's the weird part: on the huge fucking island of Manhattan, WHO do I run into? Courtney Kochuba! How incredibly random!

We ate at this vegan restaurant in the village. We didn't know it was vegan (we thought it was veggie), so you can imagine how thrilled I was to find out that my one food staple (cheese) was not on the menu, and I had to choose from things containing soy, tofu, setan, and tempeh (because we all know how much I love meat substitutes). My dinner wasn't too bad. It was triangles of tempeh over noodles with this lemon-cashew sauce. As long as the sauce was over the tempeh, it was fine. I don't even know what tempeh is...wheat germ or something? It was rather tasty. I guess this makes up for the chicken-extravaganza that was my dinner last night. Tomorrow, though, it's all about the Jamba (which I had on Tuesday after work to treat myself...HEAVEN!).
-Ashe